He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
