i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
