You made me cry and you don't even care
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You made out with two different species that night
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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