We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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