Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize