I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
