I'm pants shitting drunk right now
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm too high and old for this...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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