East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
