I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ๐๐
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars๐
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize