The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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