Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
