Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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