I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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