If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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