Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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