I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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