My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
