There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Even my vagina gasped.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
