If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
