My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
