so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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