do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Randomize
