I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
