Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
