How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
