do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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