just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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