You really coming over, don't trick.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
