Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
