I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
