Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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