dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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