highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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