no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
