It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
