he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
