I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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