a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
