I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize