bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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