Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
