So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize