I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
