some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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