If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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