Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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