Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Green mimosas i think yes
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I had to cum in my sink.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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