I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
