im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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