There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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