I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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