Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
