i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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