YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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