hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
