Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
