$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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