I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
