I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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