how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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