Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
