I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
